


Spreading yourself too thin

by greenteafiend



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Team Bonding, Team Voltron Family, Team as Family, crying Keith, keith gets the hugs he deserves, sad keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 11:16:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14055774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenteafiend/pseuds/greenteafiend
Summary: “Guys… I-” Keith choked off abruptly. Everyone was present and accounted for, standing together. They looked like they belonged together, standing there in their shiny white Paladin armor.And they were all staring at him with varying degrees of anger, hostility, and - worst of all - disappointment.It felt like his dad waving good bye, saying ‘see you soon, son,’ but never coming back. It felt like every time he wasn’t a ‘good fit’ with a foster family. It felt like getting kicked out of the Garrison.Set during season 4 episode 1 when the teams rips into Keith. I always thought he looked like he was going to cry, so in this, he does.





	Spreading yourself too thin

Keith’s palms were sweaty, and his heart was beating so hard it felt like it might try to escape out of his chest; it hadn’t really stopped since his last mission. Being back in the castle felt unreal; there was still a note of hysteria pounding through his veins.

On top of that he was nervous. _So_ nervous he felt _sick_ to his stomach, because this was something he’d been subconsciously working up to for a while now. He’d hoped it’d be more gradual, that he’d be able to ease away so carefully they wouldn’t even notice his absence, but he’d ruined it. He didn’t even know why he was surprised; he ended up ruining most good things in his life.

Maybe he thought because he’d been trying so hard, because he’d been _invested_ this time, that things would turn out okay… He should have known better.

Normally Keith would sequester himself in his room, wait until his hands stopped shaking and he stopped feeling overwhelmed to face the others. He’d wait until he was certain he could take Shiro’s disappointed looks and the others’ accusing stares.

But he’d fucked up big time today.

Regris was-

Regris had-

He couldn’t even complete the thought. If he let himself think about it he’d fall apart, so he thought about the other fuck up instead. The one he was about to get chewed out for.

While he was floating through space, unsure whether he was going to live or not, his team had needed him, and he wasn’t there. He’d let them down, and the guilt was eating him alive, leaving behind only that ever present note of hysteria. Or was that because he’d nearly died?

In any case, now he had to face the music.

He took a deep breath, curling his shaking hands into fists and steeling himself before approaching the door to the bridge. It swished open automatically to admit him.   

“Guys… I-” he choked off abruptly. Everyone was present and accounted for, standing together. They _looked_ like they belonged together, standing there in their shiny white Paladin armor.

And they were all staring at him with varying degrees of anger, hostility, and - worst of all - _disappointment_.  

It felt like his dad waving good bye, saying ‘ _see you soon, son_ ,’ but never coming back. It felt like every time he wasn’t a ‘good fit’ with a foster family. It felt like getting kicked out of the Garrison.

It _hurt_.  

He was trying _so hard,_ but it felt like no matter what he did he was making the wrong decision.   

“I heard what happened. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help,” he offered meekly.

“You keep saying you’re sorry but your actions say otherwise. Do you realize that your absence put the team in jeopardy?” snapped Allura. Keith clenched his fists so hard that his blunt nails dug into his palm.

“And not just the team, but the refugees as well!” chimed in Lance.

“Matter of fact, the whole _quadrant_ was in danger,” added Pidge harshly.

“I-”

Words stuck in his throat. He didn’t have any. He was utterly defenseless.

His breathing hitched on a familiar feeling burning its way through his body, settling in behind his eyes.

He blinked furiously and pressed his lips together, desperate to hold it back.

“Keith,” Shiro this time, “You need to start taking your role as Black Paladin more seriously. If I hadn’t been able to reconnect with Black when I did-”

Keith had to leave.

He didn’t even say anything, just turned on his heel and started making for the door. He needed to be alone immediately because he was about to lose it. Panic a fear were fighting to claw their way out of his body; the feeling was too strong to contain.

There were already tears rolling down his cheek now that he was turned away, a choked back sob ready in his throat.

But someone caught him by the wrist and pulled him back.

“Where are you going? We aren’t fini-” Shiro cut off abruptly when he stepped around Keith’s stiff body to look at his face.    

Keith sniffed miserably, staring at the ground, unable to meet Shiro’s eye, wiping at his face desperately with the arm Shiro wasn’t holding.

“Let me _go,_ ” he said, trying to tug himself out of Shiro’s grip roughly, but Shiro held fast.

“Keith, what’s the matter?” murmured Shiro urgently.

Keith yanked his arm again ruthlessly, and this time Shiro yielded and let him go, sending Keith stumbling backwards a few steps.

He looked up at everyone, and _fuck_ that was a bad idea, because now they were staring at him in horror, like he was a pathetic wounded animal that needed to be put out of its misery.  

“S-sorry,” he stuttered, wiping jerkily at his eyes, willing everyone to just ignore that he was crying, “It’s better this way,” he said, voice cracking.

He wanted so badly to do what was right, to do his part to end this war and stop Zarkon, but it had become clear to him since they got Shiro back that being the Black Paladin wasn’t supposed to be part of that. The rest of the team deserved a better leader. The _universe_ deserved a better leader, one that wasn’t afraid all the time, one that actually knew what to do, one that wasn’t torn up about where they belonged. One that didn’t cry like a child when he got stressed.

They needed Shiro, and they needed Keith out of the way.

“Shiro reconnected with the Black Lion so now he can be the l-leader I wasn’t able to b-be,” he stammered, voice hitching embarrassingly.  

“Keith, what are you talking about?” asked Lance, calm and gentle.  

“Is this why you’ve been pulling away from us?” asked Allura softly.

“P-part of it,” he choked out, and then his face crumpled completely. He turned around and slapped one of his own hands over his mouth to stifle the way his breaths stuttered wetly. He couldn’t hide the way his shoulders were trembling though.

“’Scuse me,” he said, barely above a whisper, intending to escape again, but before he could take even one step towards the door, arms wrapped around him from behind, pulling him against a firm chest.

Shiro again. Keith froze.

Lance appeared in front of him, tutting sympathetically. He took Keith’s wrist to pull his hand away from his face, reaching up to thumb away some of Keith’s tears, before wrapping his arms around Keith’s shoulders and leaning in to embrace him.

Hunk came in next to hug all three of them - Keith, Lance, and Shiro - from one side, resting his chin on top of Keith’s head, and then Pidge wriggled her way in-between Lance and Keith from the opposite side, hugging Keith around the waist tightly.

A small hand that must have belonged to Allura took one of his, and Coran pressed his palm onto one of Keith’s shoulders.

“It’s okay, Keith, we’ve got you,” murmured Shiro.

With those kind words Keith gave in and let himself break, pressing his face into Lance’s shoulder as he sobbed wetly, letting his team hold him up.  

“Aw, Keith, don’t cry! It'll make _me_ cry!” said Hunk, voice already wobbly.

“We didn’t mean to make you sad,” said Pidge against his chest, equally wobbly.

“You’ve been spreading yourself too thin Number 4,” remarked Coran sadly.

**Author's Note:**

> This whole thing spawned from this tumblr post:  
> https://greenteafiend.tumblr.com/post/171977070392/i-was-just-watching-episode-1-of-season-4-again?is_related_post=1 
> 
> Find me on tumblr @greenteafiend


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